Defense Attorney: "What is your age?"

Little old Woman: "I am 86 years old."

Defense Attorney: "Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you on April 1 this year?"

Little old Woman: "There I was, sitting there in my swing on my porch on a warm Spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me."

Defense Attorney: "Did you know him?"

Little old Woman: "No, but he sure was friendly!"

Defense Attorney: "What happened after he sat down?"

Little old Woman: "He started to rub my thigh."

Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him?"

Little old Woman: "No, I didn't stop him."

Defense Attorney: "Why not?"

Little old Woman: "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago."

Defense Attorney: "What happened next?"

Little old Woman: "He began to rub my breasts."

Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him then?"

Little old Woman: "No, I did not stop him."

Defense Attorney: "Why not?"

Little old Woman: "Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!"

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little old Woman: "Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and said to him, 'Take me, young man, Take me!'"

Defense Attorney: "Did he take you?"

Little old Woman: "Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the little b#####d!"